16 Things about Paolo

So it took me a while to see that Marinel tagged me on a blog. I forgot to set the comments notification option on my blog, but better late then never!

so onward to the goods. i entitle this:

16 Things About Paolo that you didn't know(i think...), but now you wish you didn't ask!

1. I hate buying clothes. sorry kiddos, but its so annoying buying clothes! why mess with a good thing you already got going? My brother yelled at me a while back b/c he saw one of my sweaters was from Britches... hahaha, didn't that store close down like 10 years ago? Oh well, they made very fine sweaters and shirts, and i'm still a proud owner of at least 2.
   
2. I like photoshoppin' friends faces on movie characters. Well, more like MS Paint than photoshop..started as an inner-office war with my friend, SS Agent Mathew M., people are now scared of me in the office, fearing they will become my next project, or better yet, t-shirt! here's one i did of SS Agent Matthew M. and Partner in Crime Dennis Z. Click on it, its pretty amazing!


3. I'm actually really shy. If you never met me before, I am very shy at first. most of my friends would say the total opposite, especially my Young Life and youth group kids, but in social situations i can become very shy. Its weird, but i'm just timid like that.


4. My name is Paolo, and I'm a nerd. I bet my girlfriend, Tracy, will love this one. Yes, i am confessing on my blog that i am, indeed, a nerd. Once an avid World of Warcraft player, XBox Live trash talker, and once had the biggest collection of Magic: The Gathering cards, i am a complete nerd. I work with computers every day, i read blogs about tech and gadgets every day, and i own a heck of a lot of useless gadgets and gear just because they are cool looking! Like my Chewbacca plush backpack!


5. I'm no Photographer, just like taking pictures! The purchase of my Canon Rebel XTi was probably the best purchase I've had made to date. Along with a great lense, I'm all up in your face taking pictures! i've recently gotten facinated with my macro lense and currently thunking up shots to take with it. But i love taking pictures of just people and places, no real meaning behind it. Just like capturing what God intended our lives to be, and showing the rest of the world! You can view any and all my pictures here: Album 1, Album 2, Album 3 These two on the right are a couple of my favorites. The top shot is my previously hacked iPhone, shot with a Canon Macro lense 60mm Fixed lense (if you click on it, you can see each pixel), and the bottom pic are the flowers I got for Tracy, shot with my everyday shootin' lense, 28mm-135mm Canon lense.


6. I ride a motorcycle b/c I like the rush, and because people said i couldn't! i always had a facination with motorcycles, and when graduation from college approached, i really considered purchasing one for my gift to myself. Back in high school, and a lot in college, a lot of people shunned me from riding a motorcycle, stating the obvious that it was dangerous, but one that stuck at was that they said "i can't see you on one... you don't seem right on it" or "you're too big to be on a sportbike"... well i say boo hoo to that! i'm +200lbs and riding a sportbike. I hate it when people tell me what i can't do, or what doesn't look right, b/c if i feel right then its right with me. i could care less what others think! I like proving others wrong.


7. I love working with kids and youth. As annoying and troublesome many can be, i have always had a heart working with kids and the youth in general. A good chunk of my week is working with kids after my 9-5 job. My time is split between my Young Life Kids with Special Needs and my youth group kids at church. I truly and wholeheartedly believe in investing into children because, as cliche as it sounds, they are our future. I am so blessed the Lord has given me a heart for Youth and Teen ministry, and especially for Kids with Disabilities. So many times, teens these days are overlooked and underestimated. Just giving them an outlet to express themselves without pre-judgement or pressure to conform means the world to them.
   
8. I don't think I snore.... do I? Maybe some of my youth group guys who i've spent a guys night out with or went to camp can vouch for me, or bust my assumption... But for the love of me, i do not believe i snore when i sleep. Tracy says I do, even though she's never seen me or heard me sleep, but I really don't think i do. I won't believe anyone without some proof! If you do get video proof of me snoring, i will post it up and give that person a quarter!


9. I'm embarrassed about my feet. Yup, it's true. they are just horrific and ugly. i can hardly stand looking at them, and i hate taking my shoes off anywhere but home.


10. I'm a sucker for girly movies. As much as guys try to say they don't like girly movies, c'mon guys! you know you like them too! Last girly movie i watched was Sydney White, which turned out to be a pretty good movie for what it was! Favorite movie all time is A Walk to Remember because i just love it. ugh, my man stock is falling faster than General Motor's right now...


11. 1 Country n00b. i've only been to 1 country in my life: the Philippines. someday i would like to travel to other destinations in the world, specifically Tuscany, Venice, S. Korea, Dubai, Austrailia, and much more... i've always wanted to do a food vacation Anthony Bourdain style, or even Andrew Zimmern!


12. Computer n00bs = EPIC FAIL. because when people say that defragging their hard drive will make their internet faster, an angel gets its wings torn off. Biggest peeve is when people throw up computer jargon and asinine procedures, or just think what they are doing/did is right when it comes to computers. If you delete all your emails, and then ask us what happened to your emails, you, madam, are an epic failure.


13. I wish i were bilingual. i wish i knew how to speak or understand tagalog, but i can only understand when my mom is angry. maybe one day with the help of Rosetta Stone...


14. I'm a Facebook Stalker according to Tracy. what do you expect?? i sit infront of a computer all day long! It's a routine in my daily life to check Facebook when i have the time.


15. I'm a Christian. What a different experience it is from being born and raised a Catholic, to living and leading a life dedicated to Christ, and having a relationship with Him. I can't tell you enough how my Lord has influenced everything in my life, my life choices, and those He puts in it. Without my committment to Him and the relationship i have with Him, i wouldn't be in the place i am today, the church i attend, the friends i have and have met, or the girl i am growing to like more and more each and every day. Everything i owe to Him because it is all His.


16. Twice a month and Neon Green Shorts! that's how often i do laundry. Some people think thats not enough, but i think its plenty enough! by that time, ive already worn my underwear backwards inside-out... -=P j/k, and laundry day is when i wear my neon green shorts that everyone hates! i think they are pretty awesome! My mom got them for me back in high school. She told me that they were my color and she insisted that she buy them for me. Oh man, she is awesome! These shorts have been all over the world and are pretty much infamous!

Anywhoo, thats me in a nutshell. I don't have that many friends that blog, or that i know of, but if you're reading this, consider yourself TAGGED!!

Stop Lyin'...

**PAUSE THE MUSIC TO THE RIGHT WHEN VIEWING THE VIDEO BELOW**

This is Lavoisier. I met him a couple years back when i spent a month at Lake Champion, a Young Life camp in New York. The month i worked at the camp, we were serving inner-city youths from the hardest cities in the country (D.C., Queens, Chicago, etc..). During the month, we had to deal with constant fighting, usually rival gang members from different cities (yes, they wore their colors at a christian camp), hard facades, straight attitudes and fake personas. So having Lavoisier there as a musical guest and speaker put Christ at a level they could understand.

He was our musical guest for the month, and i was the program tech, so we got a lot of face time together. He is very passionate about his heart, his work, and his ministry. Below is a video he did at a private school, calling out rappers of today.

It's been a while...

Let's see... recent life updates...

Well, if you haven't heard or seen, I have an amazing girlfriend. that's right kiddies, she's awesomely amazing. i am a very lucky man. its not like any other relationship i've been in. we prefer staying in than going out, she hates it when i pay for things, we fight over who drives what car to wherever we're going, and we never go to sleep angry at eachother. There's so much more about our relationship and just her in general, but that would take more than one blog to write about.

It has been a long life battle of mine, committing and trusting in God when it comes to relationships. SOOO many people told me "there is ONE out there for me" and "that she is going to be the luckiest girl in the whole world" when we would finally meet, but do i, should i, trust their word? i mean, they are as mortal and imperfect as i am, so how could i put stock in such encouragement? Yes, it helped a bit back then, short gratification, short term contentment. But what about the long term, the long haul, the future? How could i be content with trusting my Lord with my relationship with others, specifically a significant other?

In high school and in college, i had the mindset that the Lord truly wanted me to be alone. as emo as that sounds, it was true... i constantly pushed people away because of the fear of being hurt or left out or, as weird as it sounds, falling in love. the fact that my heart could be put out there and cared for scared me... why? i dunno... maybe b/c i was scared of being hurt again, being alone, and all those emotions you hear in "break-up songs" as my girlfriend would describe them as. I've been hurt, and its not a good feeling, so why risk it?

My mind started wander, and i started to convince myself that i was meant to be alone in life, even though it is one of my greatest fears in life...

An article I read was about Trusting God in Relationships, and how we were meant to be in relationship. When Adam was created, God said "It is not good for the man to be alone... I will make a helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18). We all have the need to be in a compaionship, relationship, fellowship, friendship, it's been coded in us since day one. How i did not see this snippet of information in my earlier years? i don't know, but knowing and trusting God that He will provide me a companion/girlfriend/best friend/wife that is chosen by Him is how my life and mindset should be. When i stopped worrying about who my girlfriend/wife would be in the future, and just set my eyes and mind on the Lord and let Him set my course straight, all my worries and fears went away.

What did the Lord do for me during those years of not dating? He used my singleness to invest in His kingdom. I found myself filling up every day of my week with Young Life or Volunteering or some type of ministry. It is what the Lord wanted of me. It also allowed me to become a better man, in prepartion for the one i would meet in the future.

One of my favorite quotes from a blog goes something like, instead of asking when you will find the right girl for you, ask yourself how can you be a better man for the girl you will meet? It's so true. everyday, i always pray and try to find a better way to be a better friend, boyfriend, son, brother, co-worker, etc..

It all comes down to the committment i have for my Lord, and trusting in His ultimate plan. On those two reasons alone, i am thankful and blessed for the relationship i have today. Because without having a relationship with Christ, how could i even be ready for a relationship with anyone else?

But don't think we're the most perfect couple b/c we are not. We have our imperfections and are constantly learning something new about eachother each day. we just take it one day at a time, thank our Lord for what He has blessed us with, and be thankful for everything else. I am absolutely lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful girlfriend that also sees it this way. The Lord is teaching us new things every day, and we learn together.

I pray He blesses my relationship with Him and it brings me closer to Him. In turn, i pray that my relationship with Christ will bring me closer to her.

i know its a jumble of a mess, but maybe someone with A.D.D. will understand and get something out of this blog.. my mind is a mess with Christmas fast approaching!

For Lola

Everytime the holidays come around, I always think of my Lola (grandma). She passed away a couple years ago, and it was very hard for me. She was living in the Philippines, but she would always make her "U.S. Tour" to all of us here in America. So it was hard when I found out from my mother she had passed away. The hardest part was I never got to say goodbye, or even be there for my mom.

I got the crazy idea to write a letter to my Lola, and have my mom read it at her funeral in the Philippines. This is the letter I wrote:

Lola Dearest,

Hi cooterhead! It’s you favorite cootering grandson PJ. Well, Mom called me the other day and asked what I would like from the Philippines when she goes there to see you. To be honest… I told her a girlfriend, because they are very good pickings there. Its pathetic, I know… and I know I should love for love and nothing more, but Mom has good taste and I trust it.

But what I really wanted was for you to be here, to make your U.S. visit like you always do. But that would be selfish of me to take away one of God’s angels, and I can’t be selfish. I’m not 5 anymore. But after hearing the news, it’s almost surreal, almost too hard to believe.

But it’s not like I missed you. A lot of friends ask me if I’m all right, knowing my Lola is gone. I say yeah! I’m totally fine, why? Because you aren’t gone. I tell them that I didn’t lose my grandma, my Lola, but rather I’d finally gained that guardian angel I’ve been looking for. Knowing now that you are up in heaven and all around me, I know longer have to wait for those summers for you to come.

Lola, you are never gone to me. I promise that your life will live within me. I want my children to know about how you always smelled of siopao dough, how you had one favorite chair in the kitchen you sat on when you cooked in the kitchen, how we would look for the best garage sales around the neighborhood, how every day you was filled with love and compassion and just a spirit that made me happy to come home to. Like how you taught me, I want to teach them how to fish and how to feel if a crab is really biting your chicken. But most importantly, I want them to know how much you cared about others, how much you gave yourself to others and how much you loved others. I don’t think any love in the world can compare.
All my life, all I want to do is make my family proud of me. I do everything I can to provide for my family and ensure my future is bright and forthcoming. Graduating high school, going to College and graduating with a great education, now have a steady job and able to provide for myself. Now the question is when will God provide me my wife, my family, the rest of my adult life! Life is just getting started for me, and its kind of scary. But knowing I got you and Jesus watching over me, I have no more fears to worry about.

Oh, take this picture with you. It’s of my best side!

Just know that I will do everything in my power to make you proud of me. I want you to be proud that I’m your grandson, because I am proud that you are and forever will be my Lola.
I hope that in my lifetime, I can come close to being as great as a grandparent as you were to me. You always made me smile, you always made me feel loved, you always made me finish my plate of food, and I definitely know I got my sense of humor from youI will always be thinking about you, and know that my children’s children’s children will know of your legacy and your love.

Next time I see a garage sale, I’ll pick something up for you!

I love you Lola. And know that I will make you proud. As proud as I am to be an Ambas kid.

Father,
As my Lola moves on to your wonderful sanctuary, protect her, bless her, and give her a warm welcoming as she enters your kingdom of heaven. She’s now in a better place, and in a place where she can see all of us at once. Bless us with her energy, her spirit, her compassion and her love so that her spirit in heaven can be lived here on earth. Go with God, Lola.

“Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!” (Matthew 25:23)

Amen.

Truly your Grandson,
Paolo J. A. Cabacoy
a.k.a. Your cooterhead

Verses for You, Lola
“Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him”
-1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

“Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”
-John 11:25-26

Verses for Our Family
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things”
-Philippians 4:6-8

The picture posted with the letter was the last time I had talked to my Lola, on my graduation day. She told me that she was so proud of me for my accomplishments, that I was going to be a great young man, and that she loved me.

I know you are looking down on me, Lola. I hope I, along with all your grandchildren, are making you proud.

Hope You Had a Great Thanksgiving!

From my family to yours!

I know I'm thankful for what the Lord has given to me!

'Cause if they Skyline looks this way...

"Sometimes I drive or ride with my eyes closed tight
'Cause if they Skyline looks this way
Then I don't want to sleep tonight.."
~"Skyline Dr." by Mae

Enjoy the music and pictures from Skyline Drive.

Happy Friday!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

I love people. Simply put, I'm a people-loving person. Big people, small people, young people, old people, white, black, brown, yellow, burgundy, salmon, whatever color, i love all people.

It was about a year and a half ago where i fell in love with a certain "group" of people. A "group" that essentially taught me new ways to love others and was a living lesson of unconditional love. Befriending this new "group" helped me learn patience, the Lord's mercy and grace, and that no matter what condition, God has a way to communicate to everyone.

In elementary school, i was an involved student. I was a guidance helper for new students each year, i was a school patrol for the entire back entrance (which was HUGE), was part of the of gifted and talented program, art club, music club, SCA, everything. even to this day, the guidance counselor at Windsor Woods ES knows of my name. (when my nephew enrolled in the fall to Windsor Woods, he had to speak to the guidance counselor. when she heard his last name was Cabacoy, she asked if Aidan, my nephew, was my son. Mom said no, "Paolo's his uncle..." The counselor, Mrs. Hastie, said, "Well, Aidan, you have some pretty big shoes to fill..")

But one of my memories of elementary school was when i was paired up with a special needs girl for PE class. she was a small, skinny black girl with the energy of a "deeko" (think a hyper kid that just drank 4 Amp sodas) all day long. I really didn't understand what was wrong with her at such a young age, all i knew was she was different, something i saw as contagious and that could happen to me. So i did what every young kid does when faced with adversity: i ran away from her. When it came to PE class or recess, she was always "IT" in the neverending game of Tag. This went on from kindergarten all the way to 5th grade. She was different, and i was scared of it. Yes, i could pick up a new student in the Guidance Counselor's office and show him/her around the new school, get to know them and have lunch with them... But when it came to this one special needs girl, and i hate myself for not even remembering her name, i wouldn't even give her my cold shoulder. and because i was such a "student leader", everyone followed suit during recess.

So when i was asked by my YoungLife friends to check out Capernaum, i shuddered. Now, for those that don't know me or know what Capernaum is, its a Young Life ministry dedicated to high school kids and young adults with special needs. Now, high school kids i can handle... they somewhat understand what's going on, they are somewhat easy to talk to, and can understand the Lord's Word when its presented to them...sometimes. But befriending special needs kids and trying to teach them from the Bible? you have got to be kidding me. Flashbacks of elementary school came to mind. Who would want to reach out to such a forgotten culture? outcasts in our normal society?

I really started to think, and pray about it. I prepared my heart for whatever God had in store for me. I took a leap of faith and went to my first Capernaum event.

Life changed from there on.

How could i be so dumb? Oblivious to God's word about those He creates and loves? If i have ever been filled to the brim with His spirit, it was from the energy and spirit that surrounded the club room at Capernaum. These kids were so amped, so pumped to see a new person, that I felt like I was the one being ministered to! and i was!! I have never felt so welcomed and loved on by a bunch of strangers ever in my life! There was no awkward "getting-to-know-you" moment between anyone of us. it was like we already knew eachother from earlier in life. And to think, years ago i would be running away from all of this..

What got me the most, almost in tears, was their attitudes and perspectives in life. To them, they are not disabled or handicapped, they see it as their own uniqueness, like a beauty mark or special talent we all have deep down. But unlike us where we can hide it or choose to not demonstrate our talents, they have to live with theirs. These students have the opportunity to attend regular Young Life clubs, but usually do not get the attention neccessary for them to learn and grow, or what i see as horrible, denying them to be included in club. But thank the Lord for Capernaum Club!!

But what amazed me the most was how much the got what was being taught, how much information they could retain from the previous lessons and just how overall, no matter what condition, that the Lord was working on their hearts. Some may hide it, some may not be able to communicate it, but from their actions and how they treated me on my first day there was testament enough of God's work in their hearts.

That day, i was the kid with special needs. I was the one that needed acceptance and cleansing of whatever stereotypes and misconceptions i had previously. They were able to love me, reach out to me, and be compassionate towards me in whatever condition or state i was/am in. They taught me how to love others unconditionally.

And just how adults saying "They're just teens..." irks Christian, thinking and believing "They're just special needs kids" or "they're disabled, they'll never get it. they'll just forget", or just insert any Special Olympics joke or "**tarded" jokes just breaks my heart. Why them? Why choose them for the butt end of your jokes? The group that society throws on the backburner and "let God decide what to do with them", weren't they made in the same image as we all were? We all were once outcasted, covered in the filth of Sin, and rejected by society and friends.

A heart for God is a heart for God.

We all have our "disabilities". We all have impairments physically, emotionally, socially, or mentally. But those impairments never stopped Jesus from reaching to our hearts. So why should it stop our hearts from reaching out to others?

Just like how Jesus reached out to the leper with compassion (Mark 1:40-45), so did my Capernaum friends. And i will forever be grateful for each and every one of their friendships.

Photos Site 1 Photos Site 2 Photos Site 3

'Cause Even Though When Times Get Rough...

'Cause even though when times get rough,
You never turned away
You were right there
And I Thank You
When I felt I had enough
You never turned away
You were right there
And I Thank You
~'Thank You' - Boyz II Men

I have been truly blessed to have such understanding people around me. I am what you call a "worrier" if you haven't noticed in the previous post. I worry about everything: my appearance, my work performance, how I am as a son, brother, uncle, friend, what people think about me, what I eat, etc... I am just a natural-born worrier from day one. I guess it dates back to when I was teased back in kindergarten for being, what my mother would call, "huskier" than the rest of the class. (I was crushed as a young middle schooler when i learned that pants at my age and size no longer were called "Husky", such a cool name for such a size!) I remember having the greatest fear of playing on the monkey bars because I thought I would break the whole thing. I mean, look at that face!!!

Well, my weight has always been on the top of the list for others to poke fun at. So when I was younger, I learned how to cope with such teasing and turn it into laughing, at myself. And being the "man" that I thought I was, I took the punches, kept all emotion inside, and became the self-conscience middle schooler and eventually the big worrier/overprotecter/suicide-watch case (i'll explain that ordeal in another post).

It didn't help either that I had not one, but TWO relationships that ended with the girl dumping me because they liked some other guy. After the first bad relationship, I found myself constantly asking the next girlfriend "Is everything OK?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Is everything OK between us?" "What's WRONG?"... Talk about a worrier, that was the kind of boyfriend that unlucky young lady got.

It wasn't until I met God my junior year of high school that I started to gain my, as Christian would call it, "Christ-Confidence". Thankful for my leader, Matt C., I was no longer caught up in the whole drama that high school seems to produce for those entangled in it. I was bolder, confident knowing Christ was in control of my life...

Until I left for college... talk about losing it all.

My transition from high school to college wasn't the easiest life transition. My roommate, who was a good friend from high school, got involved in the frat scene, which led to bad times. I wasn't plugged into any form of ministry or church because I simply didn't have time to (nor did i have any interest in it). I thought that i was strong enough in my faith that i could last without any fellowship or community of believers or a church. me being the independent type, i really and truly believed i could fend for myself. This had me going up the wrong river with no paddles. A time of regrets, lost friendships, back turned on God, pure darkness.

It was until i met a couple of good friends, a kick in the butt from my old Young Life leader, and a leap of faith in joining a church that i started to realize that i could never make it alone. It wasn't the friends, or the community or the church, but in Christ alone i could have not done it. College, i lost vision, lost sight of Christ, made up excuses not to listen to Him or seek Him out like i should have. But after meeting the right people, Devo and Fam, Christian and Fam, Velocity Sponsor fam, Fair Oaks Church, and getting the right Chuck Norris jump kick to the face, i realized it wasn't who i surround myself with, but more of who i put my whole life into.

"If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and
do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the
light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son,
purifies us from all sin" ~1 John 1:6-7

I was in a very dark time in college. Plagued with worries of not finishing, disappointing my parents, not knowing what to do when i got out. Trying to resolve my issues or calm myself about the issues was nearly impossible. But seeing the leap of faith others have taken, knowing that it wasnt for the people around them but for the better of their relationship with the Lord, made me fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness b/c i wasn't doing anything or trying to better my relationship with the Lord. It was like i was just "satisfied" with it, when i should hunger for more, strive to feast on the Body of Christ. You are the Way, the Truth, the Life and no one comes to the Father except through YOU.

so why was i thinking i could do it on my own? why was i thinking those i surrounded myself with were the Way? Stubborn Donkey.

It is who i keep myself surrounded with that keeps me accountable for my daily actions. My close friends, my extended family, my brothers and sisters in Christ all help me with this battle. But ULTIMATELY, its about my relationship with Christ that i need to surround my whole life with, b/c it is when i give up fully my life to Him is when all things begin to click.

So this post, a simple thank you. To all my friends for putting up with me and "accountabilitating" to me (Thanks, Austin for that word!), to the church allowing me to call it home, to my Velocity sponsors that I spend almost every moment in contact with, Christian and Stephanie for taking me in when i was left out, Mom, Dad, and brother for being my influences from day one.. But that does not compare to the thank you i have for my Lord, who even when i was dancing in the dark, filthy and covered in my Sins and guilts, was and is always there willing to accept me for who i am. Thank You Lord. Even though when times got rough, You never turned away, You were right there. And i Thank You.

Here's to Uncharted Territory

so i have fallen victim to blogging. basically its an outlet for me let everything and anything out in the open for complete and utter strangers to read and think "i'm so following this guy.." or "he's absolutely wrong!" or other strange comments/responses.

let's see, let me begin this moment by explaining who i am and what i am about.
ah, forget that, you can read most of that in my profile.
lets get to the gist. so, what's up with the title, you say? well great question.

Donkey:
1 a domesticated animal with long ears related to the horse but smaller.
2 a stupid person

But the best thing i found was this description: patient, but stubborn.

Story of my life.

I am a Christian, which I will most likely blog about in later posts. One thing I have struggled with in my life is patience. Who wants to wait for anything in a world that operates at supersonic speed? But I'm not talking about waiting for hamburgers or the newest NetFlix, I'm talking about life.
I guess the struggle began when I realized I wasn't going to meet my dream in college. Dream? To have a woman by my side, hand in hand, and to start the family life. Boy, was that dream shot down, b/c I didn't even date in college! No time to! I was constantly working to pay rent, bills, other toys and all, but never had time to meet other single women around me. I spent months thinking why God would keep me away from a relationship with a woman, why he would take something that would mean the WORLD to me? If I were to believe He is almighty and powerful and giving God, why hasn't He given me someone to be with?

Of course, like any person would, I went to friends for advice. But the same answers came out of different mouths: "She's out there for you! You just have to be patient!" "You're the perfect guy! Some lady will be very lucky to have you someday!" "Stop looking! She'll come when you least expect it" "I like you, Paolo, but only as a good friend..."
Well, that last one is the answer i got when i tried to rush His plan. But the others were all the same to me: that i had to just sit and wait. My thought: WHAT THE HECK? Why wait? I don't want to wait, I'm flippin' getting old over here! My heart is ready (i think) and i'm spiritually mature (i think) and mature in general (i hope)... why keep something that i'm prepared for? (i think)... my mind, my heart was moving 200MPH in the wrong direction! what the crap, Lord?

Then God slapped me in the face (not literally).

"Be still, and know that I am God" ~Psalm 46:10

Whoa. Seriously? What was wrong with me...

Where was my mind? Obviously, not in the right place. My immature mind took over and wanted something that, ultimately, doesn't belong to me in the first place. Why try to reason with God? Why mess with God's ultimate plan? And ultimately, why honor and praise a relationship that hasn't come ABOVE THE ONE RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS THE MOST? I think God was speaking to me, teaching me patience by not giving me what I so desired. He told me "Just STOP, stop thinking about everything, and refocus on ME." That my life no longer reflected the glory of His life and His love and kingdom. That I needed to become faithful in Him before I can faithfully commit to another. What a slap! It was like I was trying to replace one relationship with another. Bad Donkey. Stubborn Donkey.

Patient Donkey?

So from that point on, I gave everything to Him. No longer did I occupy my mind with who I should be dating, what to do in life, where the rent money would come from, or anything else that burdened my heart. I gave everything up so that my mind would be fully committed to the Lord, b/c i truly and wholeheartedly believe that He will provide everything. Life had a different beat to it. I saw everything as hand picked and placed by my Lord, that everything and everyone deserved praise and love. My life went from a lonely, eeyore-like bore with thoughts of never getting out of the dark ditch I was in... to the glorious light, renewed spirit, and loving relationship and fellowship with the Lord and His people.

This would lead me to great ministries, a great church, great friends and fellowship, and His answer to my commitment, patience, and prayers.

More Than Words

this is from a previous Blog I've done on our site, HisRemedy.tk


More Than Words - Sungha Jung

This dude is amazing. He's barely a teenager, and is rocking amazing music and has mastered the art of fingerstyle guitar playing. What's the difference? i have NO idea, but its amazing to just see the immense concentration to pull off such epic work.

Talents and gifts. some have more than others, some are amazing, some are a bit weird, but to deep down inside, we all have a special talent or gift. but what's a good talent or gift if we keep it to ourselves? To tie into Austin's sunday night lessons, why keep something that isn't really ours to begin with? Our God-given and blessed talents and gifts: what are you doing with YOURS today?

I believe God gives us our special quirks, gifts and talents for the sole purpose of showing a piece of His greatness. Its that little snippet of light shining through a person that will catch someone's eye. Its merely an invitation for others seeking that light to ask you what makes you shine so bright. Our spiritual gifts given from God were meant to help do His work, build up a church, a fellowship, a community of believers to reach out to those that do not believe.

But how do we recognize our gifts, or if we have them at all? Ask a close friend! We used to do this exercise in leadership camp where we would have to write out good qualities about someone in our group. Your friends have all the scoop on your special talents if you don't easily recognize them yourself. So ask them!And as for if we have gifts at all... remember we ALL have gifts.

The question now becomes what have you done with your gift to glorify God?
A question that I have been thinking about for a while now...

"God's various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful:

wise counsel
clear understanding
simple trust
healing the sick
miraculous acts
proclamation
distinguishing between spirits
tongues
interpretation of tongues.

All these gifts have a common origin, but are handed out one by one by the one Spirit of God. He decides who gets what, and when." 1 Corinthians 12:4-11 (The Message)