long time, no post

goodness, happy 2009!

its been forever since i written a blog.  mainly because i've been focused too much on work and all my activities after work, that when i get home i just sleep.

i've been sucking lately.  as a son, friend and boyfriend, ive been sucking a lot.  i just put out soo much effort in my daily work and all that i don't have anything to put out for everyone else in my life.  im starting to lose my grip on friendships and relationships, and its not good for me.  everything i look at, i look at the negative side when i used to be cheery and positive.  what has been going through my mind?  what have i been doing so wrong?

i need to get back into a healthy relationship with everyone, including God.  one where i am not dependent on my own strength or the strength of others.  

in other news, this whole trip to Ethiopia is totally looking more and more a reality!  today, i got my donation update and i'm already $400 towards my goal! im so pumped and thankful for all those that have received my letter and read my note on facebook! hopefully ill be planning my trip to PA to meet the team in person, rather than through Skype.

anyways, my eyes are burning and the netbook is finally starting to die.  i will update you all (all 3 of you) of my further adventures.  have a wonderful weekend!

Nice Guys Finish Last

For several years now, I've held on to the belief that nice guys really do finish last.  Some people never understood what that meant, or hit me with the "oh, you'll find the one.. she's out there! you'll make a perfect boyfriend/husband!"

I'm glad that there was a group of guys out there willing to capture the thoughts and conflicts that go on in the mind of a nice guy.  Chivalry isn't dead, ladies.  It's time to break out the plated armor, gentlemen, if you wish to change the image of guys these days.

Check out this mini-series I found on YouTube.  Great stuff and all credit goes to them!

I Am Second.

Sorry for stealing, Mike Z., but this is just too amazing not to pass along.

I am Second

I am Second is a movement where significance in life is a shared value among people of all kinds.  Actors.  Athletes.  Musicians.  Business leaders.  Your next-door neighbor.  People just like you.  Their authentic stories here on iamsecond.com provide insight into dealing with typical struggles of everyday living.  You'll meet people who overcame destructive lifestyles.  Plus you'll discover those who've tried to go it alone and have failed, yet still found a life full of hope, peace and fulfillment.

We believe there is a reason why you are here.  We all have needs and could use some help.  Here you'll find issues relevant to you as well as answers to challenging life questions.  Within our website you can connect with a live person either by phone, chat or email.  24 hours a day.  You can link with I am Second groups in your own community and can even get involved in helping others.

I am Second is designed to help people discover their purpose in life.  Have you discovered yours?

Real life people, real life celebrities, real life struggle.  And through their whole lives, they thought they could handle everything alone.  Just like you and I.

Brian Welsh, formerly of Korn, has one amazing story.

What about you?  Have you discovered your purpose in life?  Leave me a comment and check out the site IamSecond.com

Happy Early Birthday to Me

So it was a glorious weekend, full of family, great food, laughs, and great company.

Thanks to my family for a wonderful celebration!  I love coming home.  It's a rarity now and days because of my over scheduling (Tracy called me "The Prodigal Son" on the way home), but I want to make it a priority to go home more often.

and thanks to Tracy for accompanying me for making my first trek home of 2009 (and in a long time), and letting me be part of her first Va Beach experience!... even though it was butt cold!

Journaling Jeremiah: Chapter 2

5b "They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves."

7 "I brought you into a fertile land
to eat its fruit and rich produce.
But you came and defiled my land
and made my inheritance detestable."

13 "My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water."

Did you read Chapter 2 yet? If not, do it now!...

Yikes! Is this what the Lord was saying to me, all those years back when I couldnt care less about religion or relationship or Jesus or anything like that? Talk about a Chapter that could scare you straight.

When I think back to my middle and high school years, I think of what I replaced God with, what I worshipped more than my Lord, what my false idols were in life. I mean, did having a girlfriend really mean that much to me for the 2-3 months of the relationship? Did I really loved my rollerblades as much as I thought I did? Did I truly love the new video game so much that I would give up my life for it? Would it do the same for me? Would any of these objects or feelings give anything back to me anything remotely as great as the Lord's love, grace and mercy? Hands down, absolutely not! So why put so much stock in something that doesn't give anything back in return?

Sure, we feel good for the time being, semi-satisfied with what earthly things we have. But who wants to just be semi-satisfied? That's such a teaser to the greatness that my Lord had in store for me. These verses are just reminders of what I was before the Lord, a part of my personal testimony.

The Lord had everything laid out for me, just waiting for me to acknowledge his prescence and be willing to walk and live in Him. But I was a sinner, worthless because of my earthly, worthless idols I praised and worshipped.

I'm not saying I'm perfect now that I am a Christian and walking in faith. I do struggle, I'm human. But I give my everything to make sure God is the center for everything I am. Everything I own is His, and was given to me by Him. Sometimes I have trouble grasping that thought, but He is always there to steer me in the right direction.

When will others realize that who or what they worship (if anyone) isn't what was meant in this world? That the ultimate creator, our Lord Himself, wants us to fixate our eyes on Him and know that He is God. I was a wicked soul. Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy.

Father, help us fix our eyes on you. Show us that everything is Yours and that only a relationship with You will bring back returns much more greater than any stock, gift, game, or relationship here on earth. I love you Lord for who you are. Amen.

Journaling Jeremiah: Chapter 1

17 "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. 18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land--against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD

I'm not much of a journaler when it comes to my study of the Bible. Usually when I read and start processing, all the information cannot be transcribed to paper as well as it is in my head. I'm a strong thinker, but can never clearly get it out on paper or even in my own words. So what a better way than to try and blog my thoughts on the book of Jeremiah. It's a great way for me to keep up with my daily study, and also get some input and feedback from my personal study and reflection. So if you get confused on any posts entitled "Journaling Jeremiah", please bear with me and write plenty of comments! it'll be a journey for you and me both!

Now I have only gotten excerpts of Jeremiah before, but it hasn't been a book I've read/studied, so I decided to read the introduction in my Study Bible. What an introduction to such an interesting character and someone I have overlooked for years.

First read Jeremiah Chapter 1. Go ahead, I can wait... It's not too long.

I love Verse 5, where my Lord says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." How infinitely GREAT is it that our Lord knew who we were before we were formed in our mommies' stomachs? Knowing He took the time to form and develop each and every one of us to be unique from each other, yet in His image.

As the Lord tells Jeremiah that he will become a prophet to the nations, Jeremiah fearfully states, "6 I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." After reading this, I automatically think of all the excuses I give to the Lord for everything. Just like how adults today give the excuse of "They're just teenagers...", this is Jeremiah stating to the Lord "But I'm just a teenager, what am I suppose to do?"

Jeremiah shows the same timidity (is that a word?) I had/have when approached with conflict in life. That without the Lord, I felt weak and fearful that I would fail, let down others, or even worse, let down my Lord. Jeremiah felt doubt when asked to say whatever the Lord commanded him to, to whomever the Lord sent him to. He felt young and inexperienced, just like how I felt in the first few years after accepting Christ and beginning work in ministry. Even today I sometimes feel hesitant to speak about my Lord in front of teens and young adults. But it was the Lords touch and the filling of Jeremiah's mouth with His words that gave Jeremiah his confidence. It was knowing the Lord would stand with Jeremiah, filling Jeremiah with His words and spirit, when approached by a strong opposition, that allowed Jeremiah to gain that Christ-confidence we speak of in Youth Group.

When I became a Christian, I made a life-long pact to my Lord that I would become His shining light on this dark world. That I would become His voice to those that choose not to hear Him. I must trust His word, what He tells me, and that every situation that He presents me with, I need to say whatever it is the Lord commands me to say. This first Chapter is just reassuring that my true strength lies within Christ, and that I cannot do anything alone.

When I read Verse 18 the first time, I thought of a literal city, iron pillar and bronze wall. But then reading over again, I realize He was talking about me, my body and spirit. As long as I remain in Christ, and He remains in me, WE are an immovable object, that can withstand any force or opposition.

Nothing can overcome me because my Lord is with me and will rescue me.

Father,
Build me up as strong as a fortified city, an iron pillar, a bronze wall. I realize I cannot stand alone when approached with life's opposition. I am no longer timid or weak or just a child with Your words in my mouth. I am strong as iron. I am Christ-Confident. Amen.